Wait…what is your grandmother name?

I’ll admit when my daughter Jessica came to me almost 4 years ago and told me she was pregnant and that I was going to be a grandmother I did not take it very well.  In fact, I was pretty pissed off.  Looking back, I don’t really know why I was so pissed off other than the fact I always thought I would be 50 when I had grandchildren.  That was my plan.  I mean I was only 46, how in the hell could my only child do this to me?  I wasn’t ready yet and in fact I even asked her why she was doing this to me.  I remember her explanation was, “Well, Mom had you not had a kid at 20 maybe you would be an older grandmother”.  Although she had a point and I knew she was right, it did not make wrapping my head around it any easier.

I remember being in my cafe one afternoon not long after I had found out she was pregnant and all the kids who worked there, including Jessica, were trying to come up with a good grandmother name for me.  Now, anyone who is a grandmother thinks about this. To some women the name comes easy. I, however, was not one of those them and in fact the more we all talked about it the more pissed off I became.  It actually got so bad that what started as a fun loving conversation with laughing and joking turned into a screaming match complete with swearing, crying, and me not able to even talk about it for weeks after.

It was not until Mike and I were out having a few beers one night that he very carefully brought up the topic, and of course after I had 4 or 5 Bud Lights I was slightly more open to talking about it.  We began kicking around a few options, some I remember are;  Grans, like Mike’s friend C-Notes’ grandmother, who was explained to me as a fun, beer drinking, football loving grandmother.  Graham Cracker, like my friend Susie’s super sweet grandmother (who I could envision as a loving little women who made cookies and was just naturally good).  Glam Ma, wait…who was I kidding, Glam Ma?, I don’t even wear makeup really…I’m not Glam Ma!  All of a sudden Mike says, “Hey how about Grandmonkey”?  Grandmonkey?, hell yes…I loved it!

Now for how he came up with Grandmonkey.  Some years earlier there was a chimpanzee that made the news for going crazy and whenever Mike and I would hear a crazy story on TV, see a person acting nuts in public, or when we were even acting slightly off our rockers we would say, “Crazy Chimp”. I know it’s weird, but we are not really normal so just go with it. In fact, around that time, it was sort of our “saying of the month” so to speak and we said it a lot.  Probably to much, but it was our little inside joke.  Another thing about it was when we said it we also always said it in a crazy high pitched voice and we would laugh our asses off.  I know, I know, you now can see we are clearly not normal and I am/was not really the grandmother type.  To me Grandmonkey just fit.

Today, these two sweet little girls are my Monkey Babies & I love them more than just about anything.

Ellie Grace (age 3) & Ruby Dot (4 mos)





8 thoughts

  1. Ellie lights up at the mere mention of Monkey. I had the same dilemma about what I would be called but after Dylan said in his super sweet voice Grammee I just melted.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We use to call my mother nana looney…..she would get pissed! So then it become behind her back. We have one of those talking phone that announces who is calling and my step father called from the house when my mom was over…….Hohhot was she mad!! One of my favorite memories.
    My friends mom also goes by “honey”


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