walking that ever so fine line…

I have said it before, and I’ll say it again…I love food. I recently did a whole post about how much I love food called, I love Food.  in fact, I’m completely obsessed with scouring the internet for hours to check out recipes. I love having people describe to me with explicit detail a delicious thing they ate. I adore the social aspect that food brings to my life.  I love to cook and eat of course. So what’s the problem?  The problem is this; the older I get the harder it is to keep walking that ever so fine line of living, yet maintaining my weight. I’m not saying at 49 I need to be at my high school weight but I’m going to admit that I want to be somewhat close to it.

Close to it…but still be able to eat whatever I want. Is that asking to much?  When I was in my 20’s, even my 30’s, I could chow down on chicken fingers and fries for lunch pretty much daily, have ice cream every night and hey even toss in a candy bar for good measure and I never gained a pound.  Today, at almost 50, I consume even a small amount of crap a day and I’m up a pound or hell sometimes even two.  And, to make matters worse right now when the Fall season rolls around, I’m at my worst!  In the fall I have been known to go on a cooking rampage and it does not let up at all until the holidays are over.

Baking pumpkin everything, whipping up hearty soups and stews, breads, casseroles, you name it, I’m down to cook, bake it, or to go a restaurant and eat it.  As I said fall is the worst, but you know summer this year was bad too….I could go all Spring without a beer, ok that’s a lie, but I could go like a week seriously, however the minute it’s nice outside or we have a warm summer night I’m down to rip 4 to 6 Bud Lite’s a night on my deck, that is between 400-600 extra calories that I gotta get rid of somehow, that equates to like at least an hour of running a day.

What has me on this topic is not only that it’s Fall but something my Grandfather, who passed away this week said to me during one of our last talks; had he told me that he and my Grandmother didn’t enjoy many meals together as they got older because she was always on a diet and couldn’t enjoy herself when it came to food.  I’m telling you this will stay with me the rest of my life.  It made me sad and I can completely relate to how my Grandmother felt.  It also made me pissed off that I feel I constantly have to walk that fine line between healthy eating and going completely off the rails. I don’t want to feel like my Grandmother, and I have to figure out how to figure this out, I hope I can.

I want to live life as full as I possible and for me food is a big big part of it.  I get that this may sounds nuts to some people, but this is me and it’s how I’m wired.  So until I can figure out how to speed up my metabolism as I age, and to eat what I want, when I want I  guess I’ll be walking or in my case running the dreaded fine line.

Rant over.

Heather

2 thoughts

  1. I love food too but less is more. My mom never had to diet . She ate whatever she wanted but only a small portion. I’m trying this out because I don’t want to give up good tasting food.

    Liked by 1 person

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